Just Thinkin'... on Migraines

Have you ever had a migraine?  

If you immediately wondered, "Hmmmm.  How should I answer Lisa on that?  HAVE I ever had a migraine?"  then I can, with virtually 100 percent certainty, assure you that you have NEVER had a migraine.

Why?

Oh, dear reader, because the only way you would be UNSURE if you have ever experienced the wondrously awesome migraine headache is if you had been slipped, by accident, say…26 oxycontin tablets laced with a near-lethal dose of ecstasy in preparation for the full frontal lobotomy necessary to erase any memory of said migraine.  

Even WITH all that, you probably have a fuzzy almost-memory of a time you felt like someone was stabbing a chef's knife into your temple and you were slightly sensitive to light.

Hey, that's just one gal's opinion.

Migraines are a very serious deal.  I do not claim to have a great deal of experience in this area as I have had exactly five in my entire life.  I know I have had exactly five because…DUH!  (Did you NOT read my descriptions above?!).  

I know, from friends who have had WAY too many migraines (and have all of the empathy and sympathy I can generate based on my own experiences), that there are actually 'triggers' for them.  Now, some of you may want to share tried and true scientific 'triggers' with me - such as the avoidance of red wine, sugar substitutes, and blinking lights - but I have my own theories based on my own experiences.  You may or may not want to attempt to incorporate them into your own migraine avoidance strategies (disclaimer from the newly established Dunstable Commons Legal Department (note the small type):

The author of this article is NOT a medical professional and, hence, should not be trusted to provide ANY useful medical advice.  In fact, the author's opinions should NEVER be assumed to reflect those of the Dunstable Commons editorial staff, their family, friends, attorneys, neighbors, or pets.


The following are my own scientific method-derived migraine trigger and subsequent trigger avoidance survival strategies (One for each migraine that I have had).

HABITAT DESCRIPTION:  My first migraine came on very soon after I finished running my first (and last) Groton Road Race.  I was in my kitchen.

MIGRAINE TRIGGER:  Running the Groton Road Race.

MIGRAINE TRIGGER AVOIDANCE SURVIVAL STRATEGY:  Never again run a road race.  Don't even train for one.  As a matter of fact, never run.  And - just to be sure - stay out of kitchen as much as possible.

HABITAT DESCRIPTION:  My second and third migraines came on while I was in my home on Kemp Street.  I can't remember any further details, as the pain was so intense.

MIGRAINE TRIGGER:  Being at home on Kemp Street.

MIGRAINE TRIGGER AVOIDANCE SURVIVAL STRATEGY:  Move.

POSTSCRIPT:  Hindsight being twenty-twenty, this may have been a rather extreme - and expensive - solution.  However, it seems to have been permanent (and we're fairly happy on Thorndike Street) so it's all okay.  

HABITAT DESCRIPTION:  My forth migraine - and first when my husband was out of town on a business trip - woke me up in the wee hours of the morning during the week.  My children were home and in bed and the full morning routine was in front of me (except I couldn't see when the sun came up because it was too bright and the fear of what would happen if I smelled anything close to breakfast - whether it be fruit loops or eggs - was enough to render me catatonic).

MIGRAINE TRIGGER:  The subconscious thought of the morning routine and my husband traveling.

MIGRAINE TRIGGER AVOIDANCE SURVIVAL STRATEGY:  Prohibit spousal travel and assign all morning duties to said spouse.

HABITAT DESCRIPTION:  My fifth and latest migraine came on this past week on a Thursday morning.  As I opened my eyes - once again pre-morning routine - I thought for sure the onset of the morning routine was the trigger (but my husband was home and, per Migraine No. 4, now has responsibility for the morning routine (Legal Notation:  some details of this article have been altered for theatrical effect)).  Subsequently, I recalled that I had suffered one of the most stressful incidents known to womankind the afternoon before.

MIGRAINE TRIGGER:  My hair dresser-slash-stylist-slash-specialist-slash-designer-named-Kim-who-is-the-best-in-the-world had to cancel my hair appointment the day before because one of her children was ill, but more importantly I had too much length and a root issue.

MIGRAINE TRIGGER AVOIDANCE SURVIVAL STRATEGY:  Engage temporary babysitting (or kidnapping) support for said hair dresser-slash-stylist-slash-specialist-slast-designer-named-Kim's children on days I have an appointment.

POSTSCRIPT:  Migraine number five was a very short migraine and got much better when I was able to think through the pain toward the fact that my appointment had been rescheduled to that very afternoon (reality check:  It is very hard to get an appointment with this most fabulous hair specialist and I would have crawled to her chair through my migraine haze because not having done so might have resulted in enough stress to cause a subsequent migraine the next morning).

I hope the above described scientific method-derived migraine trigger avoidance strategies will help you cope with your migraine, headache, or any other stress (or non-stress) triggers- feel free!

In the mean time, I will continue my scientific data collection and analysis for future reference (yours as well as mine!).

Thanks for readin'.

Lisa